Failure Plus Time…

Tragedy plus time equals comedy. It’s an old show business saying and whoever said it had valuable insight into the human condition.

I’m a standup comedian and a keynote speaker and I’ve been lucky enough to have a good share of successes. Perhaps more importantly, I’ve had a good share of failures as well.

I spent my freshman year of college at West Point where failure was an hourly occurrence.

“Warren, what’s in the news today?”
“Sir, today it was reported in The New York Post….”
“Post?!! You sure Warren? Start over.”
“Sir, today it was reported in The New York Times that Ronald Reagan…”
“Ronald? You friends with the president, Warren?”
“No Sir. Sir, today it was reported in The New York Times that President Reagan…”
“Did I tell you to start over, Warren?”

After one year as a cadet, I transferred to The University of Missouri where I was a member of the varsity wrestling team. Early on in my career, I wrestled the two time national champ from Iowa State. Before the match, my coach told me,

“Warren, I don’t care who this guy is or what he’s done, you go after him. Don’t show him any respect.”

I was hanging in there and managed to lock up a move called “The Leg Cysewski”. When the champ’s leg got hurt, the ref stopped the match. The champ went over to his corner to get taped up. I went over to my corner thinking, “Coach is gonna be proud of me.” Instead, he said, “Warren, I’m not sure I woulda’ made this guy mad. He’s gonna try and kill you now.”

He almost did.

After college, I got a job with Procter & Gamble selling Pringles, Duncan Hines and Folgers to grocery chains. After eight years in the field, I got promoted to the corporate headquarters as a project manager. My first assignment was to represent Sales on a team charged with devising a shelving unit for Pringles.

After a lot of research and analysis, we built a prototype. Our next step was to install it in a local grocery store. Kroger was the logical choice as they dominated the Cincinnati market and most of the P&G execs did their shopping there.

Previous to my promotion, Kroger was my customer. It should have been easy. I could just call up my old buyer and ask a favor. Unfortunately, P&G had a very strained relationship with Kroger’s Cincinnati division. My Pringles buyer was especially difficult. On several occasions, she would agree to a plan and then completely reverse her decision without telling me. She caused me a lot of grief and embarrassment with my superiors. However, I didn’t want to let down my new team down so I called her up and she agreed to put the unit in.

We got it installed and it looked impressive. We arranged a visit with some of the higher ups, but when everyone got to the store, the unit was gone. Our very expensive prototype that had been bolted into shelving fixtures the previous evening had disappeared. We eventually found it in a dumpster behind the store.

When I called my buyer, she simply said she changed her mind. I was crushed. I felt like I let my new team down. It was my first assignment and I was already a failure. I went into my buddy Gene’s office next door. Gene was from Georgia and spoke with a deep southern accent. He listened intently as I recounted my tale of defeat. When I was done, he looked at me deadpanned for about four seconds, and said,

“Man, (long pause) they throwed yo’ Pringles out. Hahahahahahaha. They throwed yo’ Pringles out!”

He made the rounds to all the offices on our floor proclaiming, “They throwed his Pringles out.” With his accent, there was almost a rhythm to it. It was like a song. Within 20 minutes, the song was a hit. Everyone on the floor was aware that, “they throwed my Pringles out.” They all thought it was hilarious. I didn’t. I was depressed and sure that somehow I was going to get fired.

They didn’t fire me. Eventually, we ran a test market in several stores and the results were positive enough to launch nationally. A couple years ago, Gene came to see me perform. After the show we had a few drinks.

“Hey man, remember when they throwed yo’ Pringles out.”
“Yeah Gene. I remember.”

We laughed.

I’ve often wondered if the word “failure” could replace “tragedy” in the “tragedy plus time” equation. Does failure plus time equal comedy? In the case of the “throwed out Pringles” it did, but it took 20 years. Can we cut that timeline down a little? Can we us humor as a tool to deal with failure? Can we use it in the present?

I believe the answer is “yes” to all of the above. Once we’ve lived long enough to laugh at a past failure, we gain perspective. When we encounter failure the next time, we probably won’t immediately start giggling. We probably shouldn’t. Instead, for a brief second, we should try to remember a situation when enough time went by for us to laugh at a past failure. We should consider the possibility that at some point in the future, we may have a different perspective on our current situation. If we can do that, we will begin to understand that our failure is not permanent. It will not define us. We will gain confidence that we will laugh about our situation in the future because we will be on to bigger and better opportunities.

Even if they throwed yo’ Pringles out.